I don't need these boosts, one because they never work and two because in the last week I have been feeling amazing about myself. There have been a few things to lead up to my new found self-esteem. Last week a girl a few years younger than me added me on facebook. I recognised this girl because she goes to my school so I accepted her invite thinking she was just one of those girls that adds every person they have ever seen. I was wrong, she actually specifically searched for me and added me because she thought I seemed like a cool person and she had really wanted to meet me. We have been talking and have hung out a bit in between classes and even though my first impression of her was that she was a total mall goth she seems like a really nice girl that is really interesting.
She listens to Black Veil Brides and Marilyn Manson but she does not consider herself goth(I have nothing wrong with people liking these bands as long as they realise they are not goth for doing so). She actually has a lot of the same interests as me and reminds me of myself when I was her age. Just having someone who seems interested in being my friend seemed to do a lot to boost my self-esteem and my overall confidence level.
I have also been too busy to spend hours looking at photos on tumblr and I actually feel some of the negative thoughts about my weight going away and instead have been paying extra attention to the positive aspects of my weight gain. My body looks more proportion whereas before I always felt kind of top heavy, I feel better physically and yesterday I was looking through photos of Marilyn Monroe and realised I was no bigger than she was and she is one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen and well her body is still hot and for once looking through pictures of a model actually made me feel great instead of destroying my body image.
A lot of those skinny girls on Tumblr that you see? I usually ignore it. I might start posting my pics on my Tumblr later on, because all I really do is just reblog pretty pictures. Who knows.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty cool that someone was seeking you out just to meet up and talk. There are people like me where I live, I know, but I never see them (and I don't know where to look ..)
I'm a fat lump. But I don't feel bad for it. I actually sort of enjoy it. I fil my clothes out, I can create shapes with corsetry, and change myself with pleats and ruffles in the right places. But that's just me.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one who, when feeling a bit down, looks at Marilyn Monroe pictures. And sobs and eats ice cream. :P
Wow, it's so great that that girl added you. :)
ReplyDeleteI guess I could fill in a few pages at least with my low self esteem issues, but one thing that's helped me is when I forced myself to wear a miniskirt and spaggheti strap top. xD...I'm usually conservative as hell (Self esteem issues) but when everybody was complimenting me and saying I looked slimmer than usual it made me feel a tad more confident. :D
And Marilyn Monroe? I sometimes look at pictures of her and it helps me out too. :)
Ugh, yea try to stay away from tumblr, I haven't had body image issues since high school, but it's been making me feel fat and self-conscious lately too...
ReplyDeleteI know it's difficult to cope with self-image issues. But you should embrace who you are because everyone is unique in a certain way. The uniqueness might not be easily recognizable at first, but you'll discover it later on.
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